Our US road trip was certainly a trip of extremes. From the starkly varying landscapes as we swept through the west coast to the hugely divergent experiences in each city we visited and each hotel, tipi, cabin, wigwam or motel we stayed in, no two days were the same, if even remotely similar.
After leaving the cosy cabin-esque lodgings of Redwood Croft, we continued on our glorious route over the cliffs of route 1, looking out on the vast, blue pacific ocean. We stopped to stock up on fruit and veg for a picnic lunch at a little stand by the side of the road where apparently Marilyn Monroe is the artichoke spokeswoman!
About three quarters of the way to San Luis Obispo, where we were headed, we saw a sign for an elephant seal beach. Of course we pulled over (how could we not?) not realising at the time how lucky we were, as these amazing creatures only inhabit that little rookery at limited times of the year.
After stopping for an elephant seal photo opp, and watching them sand themselves (I have no idea what they were doing, but it looked awesome, they basically periodically dramatically threw sand all over themselves with their flippers), fighting, barking, splashing and (I think) cuddling, we drove on to our final destination for the day: The Madonna Inn, San Luis Obispo.
My cousin initially recommended The Madonna Inn to me when I was researching for this trip and wanted to find some vintage-inspired, OTT luxury lodgings. Contrary to my initial belief, The Madonna Inn is not named after the iconic pop star, but after its founder, Alex Madonna.
The minute we drove up, it looked very promising. I mean, look at it! I had booked the Fabulous Fifties room (of course) but the hotel is so much more than just themed rooms. No detail is spared, even the lampposts are painted pastel pink.
The Fabulous Fifties room is basically like the interior of my brain. Painted baby blue brick wall, pastel pink furnishings, vintage-style furnishings and some gloriously gaudy animal prints – let’s just say I was completely at home!
Even though we’re both vegetarians, we decided to visit the legendary steak house. Not because of the food, you understand, because of the spectacular décor. To be honest, it’s so cluttered it has the potential to be an interior design nightmare, but somehow it’s so bold and such a statement that it just works – the atmosphere is incredible. Twinkling fairy lights, gilded angel statues, well, gilded everything… we overlooked the fact that there wasn’t very much for us on the menu and just took it all in.
We didn’t visit the spa this time (hey, we’re not made of money… one day!) but we did get to sample delicious complementary cookies from the bakery as a welcome gift and the free toiletries were among the best I’ve used, complete with the trademark Madonna Inn branding – and I do love consistency.
While we were there, John and I took the opportunity to use the perfect colour palette of the room as a background for some quick press shots for Darling Lovely Life. Getting ready at a proper dressing table was just another excuse to linger there.
We left a lot later than we intended to, I wanted to take in every moment of the surroundings I loved so much. Eventually, and very reluctantly, I packed up my suitcase and we headed back on the road towards the mountainous Sequoia National Park.
On the next instalment, we leave luxury behind in favour of a remote cabin in the woods where we sleep among the bears (eek) and meet the biggest tree in the world! See you then!
The other day my girlfriends and I were discussing some of their recent, more disastrous dates and how now, in their late twenties and early thirties, they have a much better bullshit detector than in their younger years. We got to talking about some of the first signs they saw of a boyfriend being bad news. If only there was a manual like this when I was young, free and single! I hope this saves lots of you lovely ladies a lot of time and heartache!
Ten dating warning signs
He’s rude to waiters
He’s all charm with you, but he’s sarcastic, patronising and rude to the person taking your order. It shows that he both thinks he’s above people and isn’t genuine. A genuinely nice person treats everybody equally nicely, not just those he deems to be on “his level”.
He bitches about his ex
A girlfriend of mine went on a date with a guy who referred to his ex as a “f**king bitch.” What had this terrible woman done to him? Well, she broke up with him. He disagreed. If he’s hanging on to resentment over being rejected by someone else, then he’s probably unreasonable, entitled and, by the sounds of it, misogynistic. Give him a miss.
He says something racist
Or homophobic, or xenophobic or just generally awful. Enough said.
He’s looking over his shoulder
Obviously checking out other women already? There’s nothing inherently wrong with a wandering eye, everyone looks, as long as he’s not acting on it, but if he’s not captivated by you on a first date then it doesn’t bode well for the future. Nobody expects their boyfriend to never notice other women, but certainly not during your honeymoon period!
He’s hypocritical
One day he is dead set against something, the next day he’s doing it himself. In my teenage years I had a boyfriend who introduced me to smoking (which I have thankfully since quit, but it took a long time). He lit my first cigarette and half of our time was spent hanging around places and puffing away, as you do when you’re a teenager. One day, he decided to quit smoking. Overnight he became an anti-smoking campaigner. Literally, overnight. He stopped one day and the very next demanded that I quit too or he would have to break up with me. Yes, this was indicative of his overall character and no, we didn’t stay together much longer! You can never talk sense to a hypocrite so quit trying and move on.
He shows his bad habits right away
When I was in my early twenties, I went on a date with a guy who spent the entire evening sitting at a slot machine. Addiction is a serious thing and I’m not making light of it here, but if somebody can’t hold off their bad habit on a first date, I think you can see how a future with this guy would go.
Too much too soon
A friend of mine went out for a meal and a movie with a guy she’d met the week before at a university lecture. At the end of the movie, he told her he loved her. She never saw him again. A bad egg isn’t always doing bad things – you can be sure that if he falls in love with you after five minutes, then he would pretty much fall in love with anyone.
He doesn’t like his mum. Or he thinks she’s the best mummy in the world.
You can tell a lot about a guy from the way he treats his mother. If he hates her, that tells you a lot about how he feels about women, and by extension you. If he thinks she’s so marvellous that no woman could ever compare to her, ever, then you have a whole other problem on your hands. And if he calls her “mummy” that’s an instant red card.
He has a “nice guy” complex
Every woman who’s ever dated has come across the “nice guy”. The good news is, she probably isn’t dating him. He’s firmly in the friend zone and he resents being there. He’s watched too many romcoms and thinks of himself as the “nice guy” on the sidelines watching you date all these jerks and hoping that if he’s a shoulder to cry on and shows how “nice” he is, you’ll eventually fall in love with him. The thing is, this “nice guy” isn’t so nice after all. Why not? He doesn’t really want to be your friend, he just thinks that by being your friend he can get into your knickers, and he doesn’t respect your choice not to be with him. There is an element of misogyny there – he thinks that being kind to you when you’re vulnerable entitles him to eventually end up with you. Think There’s Something About Mary.
He’s hiding things
Another dating horror story – a friend of mine had a boyfriend who told her he didn’t have a mobile phone. Yes, you read that right. After reluctantly swallowing his blatant lie, she was dismayed on the third date when his phone actually rang mid dinner. If someone is playing games and hiding things from you from the start, he’s likely to keep doing that and on a grander scale. Unsurprisingly, the relationship ended when he rekindled his romance with an ex he claimed not to have any contact with, leaving her heartbroken.
There are plenty of good eggs out there – I know, I married one. We all just have to kiss a lot of frogs first to find out what we don’t want. In the meantime, I hope my guide helps you to weed out the awesome from the… well, less awesome! Happy dating!
