He doesn’t do outside of the box thinking – for straightforward answers to your problems, you need Deadpan Cat

My boyfriend has a wandering eye

Dear Deadpan Cat,

My boyfriend is always flirting with other girls. We’ve been together about a year and when we’re alone it’s great, but whenever there’s someone prettier around, his attention gets completely diverted and I feel invisible.

What should I do? I don’t want to break up with him!

Love,

Jealous in Chester

Deadpan Cat says:

Dear Jealous in Chester,

I would suggest rubbing your cheeks on him, and possibly even spraying him to mark him with your scent and make sure other female felines don’t get their paws on him.

Failing that, I would suggest telling him how you feel. I express myself through miaowing loudly and knocking things over, but if that isn’t your style then explain that his roving eye doesn’t make him purrrrfect boyfriend material. 

It might annoy him, but then he wasn’t a very good Tom in the first place. And why should his hissy fit be more important than yours? If he doesn’t change then maybe it’s time to go out on the prowl, do your best catwalk and make a new furry friend.

Love,

Deadpan Cat

Do you have a problem for Deadpan Cat? Email his cat-to-human interpreter, [email protected] for answers.