Is your relationship in a good place? Here are five signs that your long-term relationship is going well. Please note I’m not an expert of any kind – this post is based on personal experience. If you are experiencing difficulties in your relationship, please seek advice from a professional.
Image © Satureyes
You’re honest with each other
OK, everyone tells little white lies (nobody saw you trip over… of course it wasn’t noticeable etc etc) but when it comes to your day-to-day dynamic, and the bigger stuff, you guys are honest and open with each other. Lies, big and small, tend to rot and fester and once they’re exposed can irreparably damage your relationship. An honest dynamic isn’t always comfortable, you might not feel great in the moment (the truth can hurt) but it’s the healthiest foundation to a successful, long-term relationship.
You’re completely comfortable & accept each other
Personally, I couldn’t live my day-to-day life walking on eggshells or putting on airs and graces. Your home needs to be a sanctuary in which you can totally be yourself, otherwise how are you ever going to relax? Your live-in partner should be somebody with whom you can be completely yourself and who accepts you just as you are. No, that doesn’t mean you can behave badly, but it does mean you can chill out and stop trying so hard. A lifetime of trying doesn’t sound like much fun.
You can relax now…
You work at keeping the magic alive
When you’re totally comfortable with someone (see the above paragraph) it’s easy to be complacent. While a lifetime of trying, 24/7, sounds unbearable, it’s also easy to slip into a dynamic where you’re too comfortable. Remember, it’s still a romantic relationship and that part shouldn’t be entirely forgotten in favour of sweatpants and lazy evenings. Try to schedule regular date nights, keep communicating about the romantic part of your relationship and don’t let it die.
In a really long-term relationship, it’s normal for feelings to lie dormant for a little while and be regularly reignited, so keep lighting that spark!
You argue constructively
Everyone gets angry sometimes and says things they don’t mean, but if your arguments regularly degenerate into name calling and door slamming, then there may be a bigger issue at play. Constant arguments aren’t healthy – some people get so entrenched in that dynamic that they don’t even realise quite how much it’s stressing them out.
In a healthy relationship, you’re able to argue constructively. Most of your arguments are more like discussions. Remember, no matter how much you disagree with your partner or how angry you are with them in the moment, that you still love them and want the relationship to work.
Another sign you’re in a healthy relationship is that disagreements, even arguments, don’t feel catastrophic. If you feel constantly afraid that your partner is going to leave you, then you may need to look a little harder at why you feel that way.
Sometimes it’s nice to fly solo
You’re not afraid of your own company
The most important part of a romantic relationship is space. Space, space, and more space. It’s healthy to do your own thing, have your own friends and interests, even just spend some alone time chilling by yourself. A relationship that originates from a place of desperately wanting to avoid being alone is doomed from the start.
Enjoying a little solitude, liking yourself and your own companionship – these are the healthiest things you can do for your relationship.
Are you happily coupled up? Would you agree with the above or do you think there are other things that are more important to a healthy relationship? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment box!