No bitching for a month – more lessons learned

When I started my month of no bitching for charity, I didn’t realise how much I would learn about myself in such a short space of time.

Last week, I wrote some initial observations about my no-bitching challenge, and you can catch up with them here, but this week, rather than just noticing when the bitching is happening without me thinking, I’ve started to pick up on why.


Constantly bitching is like only ever eating junk food – addictive, but not very healthy!

Bitching is becoming easier to define

“I don’t agree with what that person said to me” is not the same as “that person’s an idiot because of what they said to me.” Bitching is when, instead of expressing legitimate upset, concern or distaste, you make it personal.

Someone cuts you off while driving – acknowledging that the driver did something dangerous is not bitching. Ranting about what a moron that person must be, criticizing the car they drive and making assumptions about their character is.

When I started my no-bitching month, ten days ago, I was set to explode – I only allowed myself to say I was thrilled with things even if I wasn’t. That’s not healthy. This experience has forced me to look at the way that I express being less than thrilled and if I’m being unfair to anyone in the process.


I’d like to think I’m fabulous without needing to bitch!

Without bitching, am I interesting?

I never realised how much I relied on bitching in a social context. I don’t know why – perhaps it was a cheap shot for easy comedy and I thought it made me sound funnier (maybe sometimes it did) or I thought that knowing things about other people and their characters made ME sound more interesting.

Quitting bitching for a month is forcing me to be interesting on my own merits, it’s like having a layer of armour taken away and being left to defend myself with the raw materials. Scary, huh?

Everyone likes a good bitch every now and then, but if the ONLY thing people find interesting about me is the judgements I make about other people then maybe I’m attracting the wrong people. To my great surprise, even without all the mean, sarcastic comments, my friends still want to know me – I guess I do have something to offer after all!

If you like what I’m doing and want to support it, along with supporting the Sam Beare Hospice in Weybridge (an amazing cause and they looked after my dad in his final months) then please visit my JustGiving page to find out more.

2 Comments on No bitching for a month – more lessons learned

  1. Donna
    April 26, 2014 at 10:34 pm (5 years ago)

    Just found your blog after a Twitter recommendation – Great first read!
    I can completely relate, bitching is a huge part of social life and I can’t imagine not having that. Will you continue after a month? I might give up bitching for May! x

    • Sara - Darling Lovely Life editor
      April 28, 2014 at 10:03 am (5 years ago)

      Hi Donna, welcome to the blog it’s so wonderful to have a new reader and such a lovely, enthusiastic one too! To be honest, I’m getting to the stage with the no-bitching initiative that bitching feels really BAD and not doing it feels more natural. While we all need a moan sometimes, I think it’s something I’ll do a lot less of (at least I hope so) xxx


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