How to survive your thirties

Hello lovely darlings, we’re so lucky today to have our very own Darling Lovely Maddy write a fabulous guest post for us. Maddy is one of the wisest people I know, and so I always treasure her words of advice. I’ll stop blathering and hand over to Maddy now – enjoy!

So I have a confession, I am but a mere thirty one years old, so when Sara asked me to write a post on how to survive my 30s, I thought to myself, “How on earth do I do that? I haven’t survived them yet!” But then I realized that I am very happy to share my experience and to also use the words of wisdom imparted to me by many beautiful and dear 30-something friends!

So here goes…

I am in a really fortunate position to be able to share with you one incredible fact…

YOU ARE PERFECT AS YOU ARE.

So glad we got that out of the way. So, now you know, you can start taking a little more care of yourself, because you are so perfect and you deserve to be treated with respect. Guess where this respect starts? Yep, that’s right. YOU. Respect yourself and others will respect you. The interesting thing for me has recently been that my self respect is not even measured by how much others respect me. That’s almost been like a naturally awesome by-product. But now that you’re in your thirties, you have gained some life experience, people will recognize this and start to ask you favours and freebies. It’s totally up to you whether you do these things, but make sure you value your time, so that others will too.

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Feeling sluggish? (Yes, we know that’s a snail) Keep on top of your health

♥ I have already experienced the delight that is a slowing metabolism just two years into this fabulous decade. This worries me, not because I want to lose weight or change my appearance, but because I want to last a long time on this planet! I’ll confess dear readers that I did not treat my body well during my twenties. I ate what I wanted, I rarely exercised and I very rarely took off my make up before heading to bed. I know, cardinal sin, right?! But the thing is, I’m now facing the fact that I cannot do this to my body any more. I am stuck with this body and I want it to last as long as possible, so I better start taking care of it, and it’s never too late to start doing that. One friend recommended setting a challenge each year to keep exercising by doing a charity event. I like this idea as the commitment is good motivation, and doing it for charity is even better motivation!

♥ Look after your skin. I know that this was written in the guide to your 20s as well, but this shiz is for real, ladies. I could most definitely have done with doing more of this in recent years particularly because I travel in so many different climates. So, I’m getting there with moisturiser and rehydration etc, etc. It’s dull (to me), but necessary.

♥ Be grateful for what you have and take each moment as it comes. You really can choose to do this in your life. The expression to stop and smell the roses may sound like a cliché but it’s because IT’S BLOOMIN’ TRUE. Put away the smartphones, close the laptop and spend an evening with your loved one(s). Get outside if that’s your thing. What I like to do is write an email expressing my gratitude to someone I love. It’s a really great way of reflecting on your relationship with that person and guess what? It makes them feel fab too.

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You don’t have to stay until the last cocktail glass is drained

♥ I don’t know about you dear readers but I’ve had enough. I love a good party as much as the next party lover, but I’ve had enough of sticking around at rubbish parties where the atmosphere is flat and I’m not having fun. So now? I leave. I don’t rely on the booze or (when I was single) the man winking at me in the corner to see if I can force myself to have a good time. Discussing this with friends recently I realized, oh my goodness, could this possibly mean I am growing up?! And then I realized that this is a great analogy for life in your thirties. Because you’ve been around the block a few more times than in your younger years, you can smell a bad deal from a mile off and so you don’t take up that new project, you don’t go for that job because you know you’re worth more, and you don’t stick with the lazy so-and-so of a man when you know you can do better.

♥ Stop comparing yourself to others. Screw this nonsensical competition that has somehow been created in our lives (Daily Mail sidebar of shame I’m looking at you, kiddo). It’s a) a complete waste of time and b) it really is a complete waste of time. Granted, sites like Facebook don’t help this so if you feel yourself starting to feel a bit crappy, then please step away and go and find something else to do. No point in making yourself feel worse, there really are MANY more interesting things to be doing out there. Look at the awesome things you have in your life already, not at the things you want to accumulate in order to achieve happiness. Because guess what? That is the road to misery my friend.

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♥ I put off mentioning it for as long as I could. Babies. Marriage. And all that jazz. Yes, these are things that we are all brought up to want/have/get, but these are also choices that people make at different times in their lives. PLEASE don’t put yourself under pressure to go through with anything just because everyone else is doing it. These major life choices are unique to your time, place and circumstance. I also wanted to make it clear that not everyone has these choices available made to them, so be grateful for what you have. What I found out by talking to my awesome ladies was that either way, you know you are totally capable of helping yourself, of finding your own path through life and that’s frickin’ awesome.

♥ It’s been really quite amazing to see how clearly I have been able to make decisions lately. Speaking to friends it seems to be a common theme for this sort of age, however I do think it depends on what you surround yourself with. If you keep company with people who are keen on solution focused thinking, you’re going to feel empowered to also think along these lines rather than burying your head in the sand. If you are interested in not being limited by anything in your life, but in perhaps a bigger purpose, then you’re going to be inspired to find a way to do that.

♥ One of the most wonderful pieces of advice (saved the best for last) is that I, along with others I know, could never have really gone for the lifestyle I wanted until now. With the heart fully engaged in what we want, our life doesn’t have to look a certain way, but instead it can look any way we want it to. And having the confidence to do that, with no compromise required, is awesome news indeed. From earning a living in more creative ways (three words: multiple income streams), to travelling to places you never dreamed of going, the fact is that knowing what I know now, I feel confident enough to step up, stand up and live my passions. I know that many of you know your passions, and even if you’re just discovering them or you have a complete plan in place, there is nothing stopping you.

Whatever age you are, keep it simple sweetheart. You totally deserve this. 

4 Comments on How to survive your thirties

  1. Stoneman
    February 3, 2014 at 8:32 am (4 years ago)

    Cheers Mad Creature, was contemplating skipping spinning this morning, but now I’ve dragged my backside out of bed!!

    Reply
    • Maddy
      February 4, 2014 at 8:30 am (4 years ago)

      Yay! Well done Stoneman – thanks for commenting too :o) x

      Reply
  2. Jess
    February 5, 2014 at 4:08 pm (4 years ago)

    Hello dear Maddie,
    I want to thank you so much for your total care and openness to support others with the wisdom you have found to be true in your own experience. I love the article and it is amazing to be reminded, again and again, that I am perfect as I am.
    I love you,
    Jess

    Reply
    • Maddy
      February 17, 2014 at 7:21 am (4 years ago)

      Dear Jess,

      Thank you so much lovely! You are amazing! I love you too.

      M x

      Reply

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