Why you shouldn’t give a monkeys about social media unfollows

You know what’s really annoying? Those awful Twitter apps that name and shame your unfollowers and list how many people don’t like you any more at the end of every day, sneering “unfollowers beware”. I call it automated bitterness. I genuinely know people who will check their followers at the end of the day and send personal emails to unfollowers, asking for an explanation. Awkward. And weird.

I get that keeping track of your social media numbers is important if you’re running a business. I also get why people might be hurt by being unfollowed, unfriended or unliked. It’s a form of rejection, and who likes being rejected? But here’s why I couldn’t give a monkeys if I get unfollowed on social media, and why you shouldn’t either:


Twitter isn’t always personal

People who unfollow you don’t necessarily hate you. Maybe you’ve just clogged up their news feed with something that doesn’t interest them. Maybe they like you but they are trimming their numbers. Maybe you used to talk about things that are relevant to them but they, or you, have moved on. It’s just Twitter, after all.

Except when it IS personal

So you said something somebody didn’t like and they unfollowed you? Good. Every time I write about feminism a few people unfollow me. I just see it as trimming the fat – these people wouldn’t have liked what I have to offer cause it’s all full of girl power and shiz.

One of my favourite bloggers, Kat of rocknrollbride.com gets a plethora of unfollows and unlikes every time she writes about equal marriage and gay rights. Good, I’m sure she wants homophobes reading her blog as much as I want misogynists reading mine (that’s not very much at all – and for the record, I’m not a fan of homophobes either). If someone isn’t on your wavelength, then their unfollowing you is just fine, by being true to yourself and your brand you will attract more people who DO love what you say and do.


If you bug someone, who cares whether or not they follow you?

Don’t put all your self esteem on the Internet

Sure, it can be disheartening when you put yourself out there, and instead of an influx of new followers, you lose numbers, but at the end of the day putting all of your self worth in your online following isn’t healthy or good for you.

On days when I feel even remotely disheartened, I remind myself that I have things to say. I would say them whether people were reading or not – the fact that they are coming back every day is a bonus. If I put something out there and it’s not popular, who cares? We can’t all be the prettiest girl at the dance every day (on Twitter). Be happy that with every unfollow, you’re creating your perfect, engaged and likeminded community of peeps and forget about the rest.

And once in a while, switch of Twitter, remember that you have non-Internet friends, a life, loved ones and things to get on with – it’s just social media after all.

3 Comments on Why you shouldn’t give a monkeys about social media unfollows

  1. Bigfashionista
    January 16, 2014 at 3:55 pm (5 years ago)

    Love this and you make some brilliant observations. I nodded and agreed as I read this.

  2. Nova-Nu Bride
    January 17, 2014 at 3:06 pm (5 years ago)

    I’d forgotten how much I love your posts when I was planning my wedding Sara. Another excellent one. Thank you :)


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