Deadpan Cat looks down on our petty, human problems
Darling Lovely Life interiors posts are destroying my marriage
Dear Deadpan Cat,
This may not sound like a pressing problem, but I need some advice! My wife and I can’t agree on how to decorate the living room in our new house. She wants it all floral and girlie, whereas I am a fan of the modern look and more minimalist decoration. She loves your blog and wondered if there is something you could suggest so that my wife and I can meet in the middle ground?
Painted Pink in Peacehaven
Dear Painted Pink in Peacehaven,
I’ve told my mummy to say that it sounds like your wife has excellent taste and that you should let her decorate your living room.
On a serious note, I often hear my human mummy and daddy talking about something called “compromise”. I’m not sure what that means, but my daddy says that when everything gets a bit too pink, he goes to somewhere called his “man cave”. I followed him there once. There are lots of pictures of aeroplanes and things my mummy keeps putting there muttering “awful” under her breath.
When it comes to a shared space, I know just how you feel. The humans haven’t put any special scratching furniture in for me and won’t even let me sharpen my claws on the sofa any more. It is all very flowery, but my human daddy does have a special chair that’s only for him. And for my nap times of course.
Maybe you could build one of these man caves (and, if you have a deadpan cat of your own, make sure you include a special kitty scratching area for him).
Do you have a problem for Deadpan Cat? Email his cat-to-human interpreter, email@example.com for answers.