Deadpan Cat looks forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom
How do I meet a special lady?
Dear Deadpan Cat,
I need help with the dating game! I’m 29, most of my friends are taken and I’m struggling to meet the right girl – or any for that matter. I’m not the best looking guy in the world, but I’m loving, romantic and I just want someone to share some laughter and fun times with. What do you suggest I do to meet the right girl?
Lonely in Leicester
Dear Lonely in Leicester
I met my girlfriend while I was chewing grass outside. She catwalked over to me and asked if she could share my patch of lawn. We fel-ine love!!
Maybe you could find a girlfriend through shared interests. From what I can tell from my pet humans, humans like to go poo cleaning, food opening and door opening together. They also like to disappear for hours at a time and then come back in their tin mogwagon.
Perhaps you could join a club for other people who like to open boxes of food, for example, and find a girlfriend who shares your love of pouring it into the bowl?
Do you have a problem for Deadpan Cat? Email his cat-to-human interpreter, email@example.com for answers.