My first kiss fail – Ten tips for a perfect first kiss

You may now kiss the bride. 

It’s a romantic notion, isn’t it? Your first kiss as husband and wife – sealing the deal and confirming your vows. Some couples absolutely love it, so lost in each other and the intensity of the moment, the kiss isn’t  an issue for them. Some couples are used to PDAs and are very comfortable expressing affection to one another.

Some couples are not.

John and I fell into the “not” category. John is terminally shy, and I am so emotionally stunted I qualify every “I love you” with a “don’t tell anyone I said that.” One of my biggest wedding regrets is the first kiss. Let me explain – we had two ceremonies, one right after the other. The first one, the legal one, was meant to be a bare minimum ceremony. Just the vows and the signing of the register, no frills, no exchanging of the rings and definitely no kiss at the end – we were saving all of those for the Jewish blessing that would follow minutes later.

I’d been very clear about that last part, so when the registrar suddenly said “you may now kiss the bride”, I was a bit taken aback. Unsure whether to protest or go for it, all that was going through my head was “no, no no, this is NOT how I planned it.” Now please be kind to me, this is not my proudest moment. Unfortunately for me (and for any offspring we produce, who will one day have to look at this picture) our first kiss looked like this:

Image © Satureyes

So I’ve decided to write the post I wish I’d read – helping couples to have their picture-perfect first kiss:

Ten tips for a perfect first kiss

The number one rule for any situation really – BE PREPARED. Even if that kiss doesn’t come at the point you expected it to, even if it all seems really quick, agree together not to rush it, but to take a deep breath and make sure you’re ready! You don’t want to be mid-protest when those lips land on yours!

No. Tongue. Seriously – tongue makes people uncomfortable – your gran doesn’t need to see it either.

Equally, don’t pucker your lips, while you want it to be safe for your gran to watch, it’s not her that you’re kissing.

Some couples keep their eyes open while they kiss. I have no idea why personally (that would creep me out) but trust me, if you do it out of habit, practise kissing with your eyes closed in advance of the big day. All I’ll say is this: eyes wide open will not a pretty picture make.

Keep your breath fresh – it’s only polite.

That beautiful and bold red lipstick doesn’t seem like such a great idea now eh? Make sure that you kiss proof your lips or save the daring lippy for later, lest you both end up with clown face!

Let it last a while, but remember you have an audience! You don’t want your first kiss to be a big anticlimax (a Kate and Will’s style blink and you’ll miss it) but you don’t want to get carried away either…

TALK about it. If you’ve got a demure “church” kiss in mind (thanks, The Wedding Singer) and your other half is planning to snog your head off (disclaimer – I really hate the word “snog”) then your first kiss is going to look mighty weird – just like ours did.

This is going to sound really weird, but get a trusted friend to be your first kiss choreographer. They can tell you if it looks weird that your arms are by your side, or if you guys are slipping out of PG territory (or staying too firmly in it).

Don’t grope. That’s not classy.

And one final word of warning – definitely (I repeat, DEFINITELY) don’t do it like these guys:

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