Brides – how to tell if you’re overdoing it

There’s no denying that weddings can be high-stress situations. But in the midst of planning it can be hard to tell which levels of stress are to be expected and when you’re piling too much on yourself. When I was planning my wedding, I definitely overdid it. I tried to do everything myself and I started to take anything wedding-related really personally. So how do you know if you need to slow down?

Ten signs you’re overdoing your wedding planning

And how to remedy it…

You’re a lot more tense and snappy than usual. Things that you would usually shrug off feel a lot more personal and upsetting and you find yourself in more arguments with people around you than normal.

You have really heightened emotions, even when you’re not planning the wedding. For example, crying a lot more at emotional films than you usually would or getting very upset when something trivial goes wrong, like a burnt dinner or a broken glass.

You’re drinking / smoking more and eating junk food or snacks instead of full meals. In the final weeks of my planning I lived on Red Bull and cigarettes. It didn’t take me long to get very sick!

You’re getting ill more often and your skin is breaking out when it’s usually not problem skin. A weakened immune system is a sign of stress.

You’ve started to really resent your wedding and everything about it. Wedding planning doesn’t feel fun any more.

You know your seating plan off by heart and can switch people around in your brain without too much hassle.

If a friend or family member becomes ill or has relationship problems, your first thoughts go to how it will affect your wedding.

You keep having nightmares, particularly wedding-related ones and you’re waking up feeling like you haven’t really gone to sleep.

You’ve stopped taking calls from your closest friends and family in case they ask you about the wedding – you don’t want to talk about it any more.

You haven’t had any recent weekends free for non wedding-related activities and everything you do is geared towards the wedding.

Reclaim your health

Take one day a week where any wedding planning, talk or even thinking about the wedding / watching wedding movies / looking at wedding magazines is totally banned. Make sure you either rest up, spend quality time together, do something fun or see your friends with the wedding being a banned subject. Everyone needs a break.

Take the pressure off yourself for the wedding to be perfect. It won’t be. Things will go wrong – and before the big day that seems like the end of the world (believe me, I know) but trust me, on the day you really won’t care. Careful planning is all very well and good but don’t torture yourself with nightmare scenarios.

Delegate the parts of wedding planning that stress you out the most. Don’t try to do everything yourself. Before my wedding I took it upon myself to sew 100 napkins. As it turns out I’m not very good with a sewing machine. I reluctantly handed the job over to John’s mum feeling terrible for burdening her with such a laborious task. As I watched her zip through them at ten times the speed and accuracy I had I wondered why I hadn’t started delegating earlier. Different people have different skills and strengths – don’t beat yourself up for not being superhuman!

Shrug off any inconsiderate people. People are rude. Getting upset about it doesn’t hurt them, it hurts you and stresses you out even more. One day you’ll laugh about it all, I promise.

If you need to cry, let it all out.

Do nice things for yourself. Every morning wake up and think – what will I treat myself to today? Will it be a lovely walk? An hour reading a good book? A hot bath? Give yourself something to look forward to as a reward for planning and it will seem less of a chore.

Wedding planning is supposed to be fun – but if you pile too much pressure on yourself it can become a bit traumatic. Take it easy and remember why you’re getting married – it’s so easy to forget in the wedding madness! 

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