Some of you may know I just got married (yay!) and that I have been quite fraught with anxiety in the run up to the big day. One of my biggest concerns before the day arrived was that I would be really wound up and nervous and fall apart when the time came. Yes, I’m fully aware that I was worrying about worrying, but that’s how generally worried I was – see?
And up until the night before my wedding, I was worried. I was worried even when I left the venue looking as beautiful as we could have left it. I was worried even though I had full confidence that my suppliers would sort the rest of it out, I was worried that John wouldn’t show up (now that was silly) I was worried all my teeth would fall out overnight, I was worried I wouldn’t sleep, I was worried people would drop out, I was worried nobody would like the dancing, I was worried there wouldn’t be enough food (we were dead wrong about that one) I would carry on, but I’m worrying myself just thinking about all that worry!!!
I woke up automatically on my wedding day at 6am, as I almost always do. Without a flutter of panic, I got my pampering bag together, went downstairs and drew a bath. I soaked for an hour, washed my hair and went down to breakfast just in time for everyone to wake up. I’d bought a diffuser from the hairdresser which was meant to fit any hair dryer. It didn’t. Lamely attempting to put the extension onto my mum’s completely incompatible machine, I could feel everyone watching me, waiting for the inevitable bridal tantrum. It didn’t come.
Then the cancellations started coming in. In the week leading to my wedding 12 day guests cancelled. 6 of them on the day itself. A further two didn’t show up later on. As “I can’t make it” text after text came in, I could see the alarm in my bridesmaids’ and family’s faces growing. They all knew I had a thing about people cancelling – at one point my brother took a phone call about a cancellation. The look on his face as he very, very gently told me a friend couldn’t come still makes me giggle – it was all the concentration of trying to diffuse a very complicated bomb. I knew that I should, by all logic, be getting upset, but it was like a little lagoon in my head – I’d exited the building – I was just chilling.
Me getting ready on my wedding morning – image © 2012 Satureyes
Before I knew it, it was time to have my hair and make-up done and to leave for the ceremony. The nerves kicked in a bit then, and I can recall two times I got agitated.
The first was in the taxi on the way to the venue when I could hear the groomsmen on the other end of the phone panicking about how to get arriving guests out of the way so nobody saw me. The second was when another groomsman (bless him) said he didn’t know where John was. Being just fifteen minutes before the ceremony, that’s when I panicked, thinking he meant John hadn’t arrived. Of course he just hadn’t elaborated and he didn’t know exactly which room John was in. The panic was over in all of two minutes.
Finally the time came to walk down the aisle. I thought this would be the most nervous moment of my life, but when the time came, I just did it. No butterflies, no fear, no shaking, no tears – just one big, inane grin on my face as I saw John wiping away tears waiting for me! See?
Image © 2012 Satureyes
So I guess this is a lesson to all future brides: even the most neurotic and nervous among us can’t escape the spell of the bridal calm. So many people told me about it before my wedding and I didn’t believe it would happen to me – but it really did. So no matter what you’re worried about, trust that on the day, you’ll definitely be cool as a cucumber!