The Big Debate: Do you need the big reveal?

It’s just over a month to go until my wedding. I’ve been sitting here trying my very best to come up with a cohesive (and coherent) plan for the day. It’s finally time to start making some final decisions, which are always slightly headache inducing, but halfway through my plan I hit a snag. I couldn’t see any way I could be at the venue early to meet the registrar without one of the guests (or worse, John) accidentally bumping into me before my big entrance. Thankfully the situation was swiftly resolved by my venue, but it left me a little surprised at how important it felt for me not to be seen before the ceremony starts.

I’ve always been a superstitious person – I never walk over three drains, I always lift up my legs when we drive over train tracks – I never know what kind of birds I’m meant to be scared of so I just avoid all birds… so I looked into the origin of the idea that it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress. Apparently it originates from the days of arranged marriages where, if the groom saw the bride before the wedding and didn’t like her, families were afraid he’d call the whole thing off.


So on the basis that it’s a rather unpleasant and silly superstition, I decided that wasn’t the reason I didn’t want to be seen before the wedding. Besides, it dawned on me that I wasn’t just worried about John seeing me – I was worried about anyone seeing me. In fact, despite the fact that my Jewish heritage dictates that John should see me before the ceremony (to check I’m the right person) the thought still knots my stomach in disappointment.

So what’s that all about?

Image © Carolyn Scott Photography – full feature here

Well, I’m going to be totally and a little embarrassingly honest. I want my big entrance. I know that sounds incredibly lame but I do – I’ll admit it, this bridal thing has really woken up my inner diva. I’m not going to go as far as this interesting lady, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t factor in how emotional my wedding music was in the hopes of everyone getting that goosebumps movie moment. And maybe there’ll be a part of me that is slightly disappointed if John doesn’t get emotional when he sees me. OK, John and everyone else…

I’ve never been someone who likes to physically be the centre of the room – I’m more of a brains over beauty girl, someone who likes to talk a lot but can’t stand the sight of herself on camera. I’ll always pick the side table in a restaurant, the back of a bus, the least conspicuous place to put myself. I’m self conscious about my walk, about my appearance – so why have I suddenly got this irrational desire to build up suspense around how I’ll look and be the centre of the room?

Well, I have absolutely no idea.

All I know is that somewhere, deep down, there’s a prima donna waiting for her big moment – and I know that she doesn’t want it ruined by the anti-climax of bumping into someone before the right time.

So there we have it, that’s my bizarre, egotistical confession. And I’m not even remotely ashamed – every girl deserves all eyes on her on her wedding day!

But I know that for many people there’s the fear of the pressure of the big entrance. Some brides choose to have a private reveal before the ceremony with just the photographer present to capture it, which can take the pressure off. Others choose to have their formal pictures taken beforehand too.

So what kind of bride are you? Are you superstitious and want to keep to tradition? Would you be sad to miss that magic moment when your partner sees you for the first time? Or do you want to take the edge off with a pre-wedding reveal? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

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