Happy Sunday everyone – as those of us who are blessed to have our dads around spend time with them today, I just wanted to talk a little bit about my dad (he doesn’t get enough of a mention on here) and what makes dads so irreplaceable in the run up to your wedding. This is a little bit of an emotional one for me – as I write this I’m painfully aware of the dear friends I have, both in this industry and not, who will be remembering, rather than celebrating with their dads today. They are in my heart and mind today as I can’t imagine how painful it must be.
So, I don’t talk about my dad very much on here. He’s very private and he doesn’t like a big fuss in public. My dad is, however, someone I talk to at least a zillion times a day, someone I consult with on my big life decisions, someone who’s often the voice of reason (sometimes that makes me angry because it can squash my ill-advised optimism – but he’s quite often right) and someone I’m so lucky to have in my life.
It’s only when something major happens – the death of a friend’s parent, getting married, that you realise the role your parents play in your life. When I first got engaged it formed the basis of many comical squabbles (I wouldn’t call them arguments, more disagreements followed by a tantrum on my part). Ever seen Father of the Bride? My dad isn’t quite a George Banks – although they share the same no-nonsense attitude – but I have to admit, when I first started planning this wedding he was shocked at the cost of things. He didn’t quite understand why we couldn’t have a lovely reception at grandma’s house like he and my mum did years ago.
Well, that was never on the agenda for me (sorry Grandma – your house is beautiful but I think we all know that nobody wants it trampled by hundreds of guests) – but here’s the amazing part: even though he didn’t quite get it, he threw himself into making my dream wedding happen for me.
My dad is a true individual. He has the most unique way in the world of showing his feelings. He may not have immediately warmed to the idea of a big wedding, but when I called him desperate for my dream band, who was the one to make sure they were available? Well, that would be my dad. When I rang him at the end of my tether because I just didn’t understand the logistics of electrical testing and amps and voltages that the venue needed he was the first on the phone sorting it out. When we needed a little help with the financial side of things he was the one who came through. I might not always show my appreciation and I might grumble, but the fact that I have someone so firmly in my corner is comforting, and there’s nothing like your dad sticking up for you when a supplier isn’t getting in touch or making sure things are taken care of when you’re losing the plot a bit!
Nobody could ever describe my dad as apathetic. Cake tastings and styling may not be his thing, but I know how hard he’s working on his speech, how much he’s thought about his suit, how much he genuinely cares about the wedding going well, because he worries about the things that might go wrong and tries to pre-empt them.
My Abba (as we call him in Hebrew) is a very logical, sensible and diligent man. But he also has a warm heart and I know that seeing me hurt or disappointed is something that hurts him too. I know that we’ve helped each other grow too – it must be very hard for him seeing me constantly reaching for dream after dream, wondering if I stretch too far or climb too high will the fall be harder? When I was a child I auditioned for a musical (yes, a musical). My dad looked around the room at the hundreds of other kids there and gently explained to me that I shouldn’t be too disappointed if I don’t get there – I replied “didn’t you have dreams when you were younger that everyone told you wouldn’t happen?” He hesitated for a moment before agreeing that I should go for it – and I got the part. While he’s constantly doing everything in his power to make sure I don’t crash to the ground, I think I’ve also taught him to reach for the stars.
A good portion of my creativity I get from my dad. He is constantly learning new skills, drawing, painting, writing, making music. My dad isn’t happy unless he’s enriching himself – and that’s something I will take with me my whole life, whether I’m being a perfectionist about the wedding or absorbing everything I can to be the best blogger I can possibly be.
So to my Abba: this post is really a thank you. You’re always the one to help me plan properly, prepare properly and reach my dreams, whether my dream wedding or my dream job, safely. You’re always there with a big, invisible safety net – whether it’s driving three hours to get me from university because I rang you at 3am sobbing because I was ill or making sure all the overseas guests for our wedding are going to be in the right place at the right time, nobody will ever replace you as the person I come to for help – thank you for letting me!
I love you – happy father’s day!
How has your dad impacted your wedding plans? I’d love to hear your father’s day stories – please do share them in the comment box below.