All change – why you don’t have to stick to your wedding day plan

Hello from a very busy Under the Vintage Veil HQ. Not only am I rushing around to get things ready for Veilbash (as it’s now affectionately known) but guess what? I’m excited about my wedding again!

Anecdotal evidence (and I talk to a lot of brides and suppliers) suggests that a couple of months before the big day, and when things start to get stressful, your enthusiasm for your wedding can… well, sort of die. It’s not that you don’t want to be married, it’s that all the grand plans you had are difficult to implement. It’s time to hand over money – it’s time to finalise your plans. And that can leave you second guessing yourself.

The problem that I had is that I was completely wedded (excuse the pun) to an idea of how my wedding would be. And I don’t mean the big stuff, I mean the smaller details. For some reason it never occurred to me  that I was allowed to change my mind about those. For example, I decided that I was going to give away teacups as favours AND have a vintage tea room with tea cups for all the guests (rented). Now, it’s a lovely idea in theory, but do I really have time to source another 60 – 70 teacups? Well, no. I don’t. So I’m changing the layout of my plates. Just like that. And suddenly it all becomes so simple.

It’s a beautiful layout – but it’s too much work! So you’ll see what I end up doing instead! 

Similarly, I LOVE the headband I originally bought for my wedding. But next to my dress, it didn’t look right. All things considered, it didn’t do what I hoped it would do, which is give a dress that could be either cool, floaty and bohemian OR princessy (the last thing I want) that hippie edge. For some reason it didn’t occur to me that I could just, y’know, get another headband. So I got this beauty of a forehead chain from Frou Frou Bridal Boutique when I visited over the weekend and suddenly my whole feeling about my wedding outfit changed. I could suddenly see myself in my dress, how I wanted my hair suddenly clicked into place, everything felt right again. With one accessory.

I’m not saying that you should change every detail about your wedding, it’s more about listening to your gut. Something about the wedding hasn’t felt right for a while, and I think the big problem was that I’d bitten off more than I could chew and that I wasn’t excited about how I would look on the day.

Cold feet about details is fine – if you’ve lost the joy of planning your wedding, think about what it might be that’s troubling you. Unless it’s the groom, it’s OK to change your mind about things. It may be temporarily annoying or even set you back a bit financially, but if it brings you back to a place where you can enjoy your planning again, it’s more than worth it. Sometimes a little boost is all you need, so listen to yourself and make sure you feel great about your big day details.

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