On letting go…

Planning a wedding is a lot like running a business. Not for everyone, not even for most people, but I suspect if you’re an avid wedding blog reader, you probably care about the details of your big day.

Now, not everyone is as controlling as I am, but my motto has always been “if you want something done right, do it yourself.” It might sound arrogant, but I’m one of those people who likes to think they have a vision. When John innocently suggested that we just “put people wherever” on the seating plan, I realised just how reluctant I am to let go of control of this wedding. In fact, no matter how small the party, I like to plan every aspect of it. (Even a small dinner… see below).

There is, however, one major issue with me being the grand director of everything. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day. Between running an actual business where delegating isn’t an option and planning a wedding (which is basically a whole other full-time job in itself) where I’m not willing to give anyone else a chance, I know I’m pretty much headed for burn-out city.

So I’m just going to have to let go and hand out some tasks. Not big ones, I don’t think I’m ready for that. Maybe I’ll let John find some waiters for the reception… or perhaps I’ll just let my mum get on with planning out the catering… maybe, just maybe, I won’t calculate everything down to every eventuality… I could even dip my toe in the shark-infested waters of allowing people to write their own speeches (unmonitored) or just leaving the hen to my maids of honour.

We all need a little help sometimes.

I know how badly letting go of your “baby” hurts – but no man is an island. Or something. And I’m starting to see that I can’t do all of this on my own.

So if you’re like me and you’re struggling with the idea of giving anyone any kind of responsibility, here are a few tips that are helping me to get things done. They might not be done my way (read correctly – naturally) but it’s much better than them not being done at all.

And to any family members and friends who are reading this – I’m sure you’re more than up to the long list of tasks coming your way.


Delegating responsibility

Make a long list of tasks, no matter how small, that need to be done before the wedding.

Next to each task list the skills needed to complete it.

Make a list of your friends who’ll be willing to help you out with the wedding (after reading this post, I think it’ll pretty much be a piece of paper with John’s name on it, in brackets, under duress).

Next to each friend’s name, put what you think their strengths are.

Match the skill to the friend. BINGO!

Don’t interfere unless they’re about to set fire to your wedding. I mean it, let them get on with it.

Ask nicely. And take no for an answer.

Say thank you. This is a labour of love.

Don’t give jobs to people who don’t have a role in the wedding. It’s just rude. You can’t have your cake and eat it.

Enjoy ticking each task off your list as your friends report back that it’s done.

Give yourself a pat on the back. Chances are you’ve achieved a lot already and you’re only human.

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