Morning everyone! Right now I’m tucked up in bed with the beginnings of a flu and very little energy for formatting lots of big pictures. So I thought I’d share with you the defining moments in my relationship when I knew this was for keeps! And then I’m dying to hear yours!
The first time I met John at work, we had a heated political debate in which I called him an idiot. That opinion quickly changed (for the most part) and we soon became a couple. Someone asked me the other day, given that we got engaged so fast, how on earth I knew that this was the right relationship for me. I think that’s a very interesting question. I’d love to have a Hollywood answer ready – a perfect moment that I consciously realised this was the man I was going to marry.
But this is real life. There’s no big fireworks and violins moment when I looked into his eyes and knew.
However, there are a couple of memories that stick out more than others – moments in time in which I started to really believe in us. So here they are – they might not be the most romantic in the world but they’re ours and that means I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
He cleaned the world’s most disgusting toilet for me
John and I had said the “L” word pretty early on. While I meant it, it goes without saying that when things move so fast, you second guess yourself. I’m not ashamed to admit I had my doubts – while I felt all the feelings of a very intense love, I was also wary. It’s very easy to feign strong feelings, especially when the other person really wants to believe in them. Was that what John was doing? After all, how much did I really know about this guy? Yup, I was feeling insecure – I truly believed I just had to wait it out – after all there’s no quantifiable way to determine is love for me, right? Actually, wrong.
Back when I was living in my old flat, I had a crisis. As usual John was visiting and we were cramped in my freezing (and then, very pink) bedroom when disaster struck. I won’t name names, but somebody had been in our flat and left us a… erm… present… in the toilet. I won’t go into detail, but the toilet was already broken and this person had fallen victim to a bad curry. Needless to say I was devastated. I’m squeamish at the best of times and was in floods of tears as to how I was going to clean it up.
In a selfless move worthy of a medal of some kind, John slipped out to the shop, bought some very strong beer for himself – and some very strong draino for the toilet and set to work. He heroically instructed me to stay safely in my room until he was done. An hour and many disturbing gagging noises floating in from the bathroom later, John presented me with a sparkling clean toilet.
And that was the moment I knew he loved me back.
He flew abroad for just four days to see me
A few months into our relationship, I took on a freelance role in Israel for a month. However, just before I was due to go, John had a pre-planned trip to South Africa to see his parents for almost three weeks. That would mean almost two months apart (with just a few days to see each other in between). While more seasoned couples might say that’s difficult, but doable, we had built our very young relationship on seeing each other daily. Two months suddenly felt like a very, very long time indeed for a new couple to survive.
After three long weeks of John being away, I went to collect him at Heathrow and was ecstatic to see him. However, the joy of being reunited quickly turned to disappointment when, only a few days later, I had to leave again.
If I’m honest I was completely distraught, dramatic as it sounds, at the prospect of being apart for a long time again. It was also over Christmas and new years and, while in Israel that wasn’t a big deal, I hated the thought of John being alone at Christmas without me.
That all changed, however, when John flew out to see me. With just four days in between working, he used all of his overtime money to buy a ticket to come and see me in Israel over Christmas. We spent Christmas day touring the Galilee together and my extended family fell as in love with him as I did.
He even endured a rather extensive security check (male, white, thirties, beard, grew up in Saudi Arabia, can fly a plane…) to get to me.
When he left after what felt like five minutes, it was about two in the morning, and I had this horrible sinking feeling that I couldn’t bear for him to go. The room without him suddenly felt so empty it’s hard to describe – it was like all the life had been sucked out of it – and suddenly I just wanted to follow him home.
And that was when I knew it was forever. A couple of weeks later I came home, packed up my little flat and moved in with John. A month after that we were engaged.
I really want to know your defining moments – when did you realise you were with the right person? Has your other half ever gone above and beyond for you? Leave me some love in the comment box!