Knowing when you’re wrong (by the Shabby Chic Groom)

According to the song, sorry seems to be the hardest word. I’m inclined to agree, and were Sir Elton ever to pen an additional few verses to the song, I’d ask him to add “I’m wrong” in there as a close second.

As a bloke, it seems to be contrary to everything in my brain and body to admit defeat. With most things in life, that’s OK – if a piece of code isn’t working as expected, it might take me a while but I’ll crack on and on at it until it works. Similarly, my Wii Tennis score goes up the more I work on it, and if I just admitted defeat at the hands of the Wii Tennis people early on that score wouldn’t ever get better.

In a loving relationship, though, it’s sometimes best to concede defeat in an argument, or if you’re just plain wrong about something. Banging on and on about whatever is causing the tension won’t make it go away, and just makes everything unpleasant.

I know that I am very stubborn and usually don’t admit I am wrong until it’s too late. Today, for example, enroute to a town very far away with the Shabby Chic Bride in the car with me, we got a flat tyre. SCB suggested I pull into a side road. I, the all-knowing man, disagreed and pulled into a layby. A layby next to a very busy road, leaving no space to safely change the flat tyre. Mistake number 1. When SCB suggested I call the AA to change the tyre, I disagreed. I disagreed to the point where I was short and snappy and generally unpleasant. I did end up calling the AA, because once my ego deflated a bit, I saw it was the best thing to do.

Planning a wedding, or indeed living together with someone, will throw metaphorical flat tyres and laybys at you all the time. As much as it may initially seem the right thing to fight your corner, it’s far more important to see that yours isn’t always the right, logical or even smart corner and say those difficult words: “I was wrong, sorry.” To me, admitting that is by far the most manly thing you can do.

So, my lovely SCB, your SCG is sorry and he was wrong. ♥

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